It's a Twister, it's a Twister!

A tornado siren is going off in the distance. Pure coincedence, but deliciously appropriate. It's Tornado Awareness Week, and beings that neither my father or my sister could hear said siren; I believe our safety in a cyclone is questionable. However, I'm not talking about weather today, folks. But the tornado siren just sets the mood.

Anne Hathaway has been cast in the title role of the upcoming Judy Garland biopic. I know, gasp. I'll give you a moment... whew. Okay, are you good? I'll continue.

Beings that I am a colossal admirer of the late, great triple-threat, I believe my opinion to be of immense importance. Even though I completely respect and am a fan of Miss Hathaway, I fear she is completely wrong for the role. For years, I have pictured myself in the title role of "Get Happy", the Judy Garland biopic. I'm just saying I'm the same body type, the same height, and I can belt out "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" like nobody's business. I have conquered the dance moves of "Get Happy" from her last MGM production, "Summer Stock", and I can quote every line from "Meet Me in St. Louis". I have watched "Me and My Shadows" numerous times and suffered through the book of the same title. I am made for that role, goddammit. But I digress.

It is not fair of me to just bitch how I did not get the role. I didn't audition, I just read the book. What do I know? I'm just the fan who feverishly digs through piles of old sheet music and records in the local antique store, hoping and praying that I come across some Judy paraphenalia. I might not be the girl for the part but I do have an educated opinion. Anne Hathaway, while musically talented, is just too sweet and tall to play the songstress. Yes, she has an Oscar nod under her belt for a role as a junky. But Judy is not some sickly drug-addict, sprung from rehab. She had guts and soul. She kept her glamour intact as long as she could, or rather, the allusion. She was not responsible for her drug addiction. She was the a show-biz kid, a product of the studios who was warped and manipulated to become another star in the MGM heavens. However, rather than disappearing into the same void so many young girls did, Judy seemed to have a spark about her that made her so different than the others. She had gumption and character that made her one of the most admired entertainers in history. Here's a warning for you Anne- Don't fuck this up.

I will be first in line to see this film, and I will be happy to say I was wrong about the casting. I would love to see Anne Hathaway conquer the role like it needs to be conquered. But if she does fuck it up, I'm getting my head-shots taken and I'm putting together my resume. Here's the question- does the fact that I can swallow pills quite easily count as a special skill?